Skip to content

Gassy Lu

OK. Gross post here. Stop reading this instant if you’re easily offended.

Little background, first.

We’re vegetarian. Vegan to be exact. Chose a low-fat vegan lifestyle after my husband’s heart attack three years ago. I joined in around a year ago.

It’s the best thing we ever did. Maury’s (my dear husband) blood numbers are fantastic. We’ve both lost weight. Feel great.

But I digress.

Vegging out means we eat a ton of beans. Lots of ‘em at every meal.

Well, yesterday I had the grand idea to throw some garbanzos into Lucy’s (my Rat Terrier Wonder Dog) food dish. Boy, she loved ‘em. Gobbled ‘em down faster than a t-bone.

All was well with the world until last night.

Peder (my dear son) sat at his computer working on home work. Suddenly his nose wrinkled. Then he snorted.

“Jeez,” he gasped, “What’s that smell?”

“Don’t smell a thing,” I mumbled. Then the cloud reached me. “Holy smoke,” I exclaimed, “what the he*l!”

We scanned the room and the only suspect lay snoozing curled in a fuzzy ball in the nearby Lazee Boy, snoring softly.

As we approached little Lucy, the odor grew pungent.

“What did you feed her,” my son deadpanned.

“Why do you assume it’s me?”

He rolled his eyes as another cloud jetted into the atmosphere.

That’s the exact moment I remembered the garbanzos.


We spent the remainder of the evening gagging, choking, and waiting for those accursed beans to “pass.”

They have. And life is back to normal today.

Poor dog. Poor “the rest of us” living anywhere near her.

Moral of the story? Don’t feed your dog beans. They love ‘em. But beans evidently don’t love dogs.

‘till tomorrow!


Published inInteresting